Hilary Querrien

[hilaryquerrien]

God alone knows how I ended up here.

I'd been backpacking around the world. Well, to be honest, I got stuck in London. There's an awful lot of London. Fortunately, even a trainee astronomer can get a job as a barrista. It was fun, except that time I got very drunk and got arrested by a complete drongo of a policewoman who was quite convinced I was an Aussie, and behaved as though I was one generation removed from the original convicts.

I had to be really rather careful about my drinking after that. I had this eerie feeling she was watching me.

Anyway, I earned enough to get a decent bit of money in the bank, and a cheap flight back to Perth, and started trekking back to Wanganui on the North Island from there.

I had to go and visit Hanging Rock, didn't I? And sleep there.

I woke up in this strange place full of crates and peculiar devices and strange people and the most beautiful being I have ever seen who says she is a shapeshifter. Not the monster of legends at all.

They say I'm in the future now, off toward the Horsehead Nebula. The future it seems has gone back to slavery.

And that policewoman is there as well. It has to be her. Except she's some sort of prostitute now called Mirika. She swears it's not her, but every now and then I mention things about London and she starts to respond but something she wears on her head flashes and she stops again.

My mother would be so ashamed. I've discovered I like girls. A lot.

[hilaryquerrien]

I think they think I'm mad. But she wrote down her collar number and her duty roster on a piece of paper once, and I've got that.

And in front of Molly, when we were in the hospital and Molly was telling us she'd been shot, she started talking about police accident procedures. I think Molly might be starting to believe me.

That and the fact that I'd had my right hand and left leg replaced by what they say is biotechnology because of an accident, but there'd been no accident involving Mirika. And my left eye and my nose as well.

Actually, the nose is an improvement.

I'm trying to apply for a job as a dancer, though I don't believe some of the questions on the form. I'm hoping to God it'll stop certain things getting out of control. When Mirika is dancing, all sorts of things happen to me, and I upset mistress because I didn't ask her. I feel so ashamed.

And the archives - someones been at them. Sometimes they say the most incredible rubbish, and sometimes - mainly if you shout at them - they'll come up with the truth. But I can't stop them saying that home was invaded by Australia and everyone sent to labour camps in the bush

[hilaryquerrien]

I saw him do it - Raven was doing - nice things to me. And when she'd finished, I heard Mirika call Khruel "gov" and he pretended he was her superior and took her into the ship, talking about treatment. I followed, well, after a bit, and she was in a machine and it dissolved her hair away and her clothes and I could see her in pain and then not being able to think.

I tried to stop it but he was stronger than me, and then he used a tazer or something on me and I couldn't move till it had finished. And she came out and had forgotten everything.

And then I discover that my tour round the spacecraft had cost 1000 credits for the champagne, and I had to pay. I tried to tell them that the replicator must be broken, but they wouldn't believe I was a qualified engineer. Which I'm not, but it would have been better than what did happen.

They made me dance naked in a cage. And they chained me to something and filmed it. For buyers they said people would buy me. And then they injected my breasts with something and put me on a machine and they milked me. Still filming it. I feel so ashamed, as well as sore.

If I tell anyone what I saw, they said they'll publish the films. And mistress is cross with me. And she hasn't even seen the films.

I guess I'll have to be very careful who I tell. I'm not sure I can though, and - well, his type is likely to publish the films anyway if I do anything he doesn't like.

But I'm collecting more and more evidence that she is her and not a clone.

[hilaryquerrien]

He told me I was snooping around and he attacked me with a slave goad. I think I fainted. I went past there later, he was gone, but the ship was open so I went in. Mirika was there asleep so I started to check the ship, wondering if I could sabotage his equipment. I couldn't find it, then some stupid alarm went off. Next I knew I was in a box and somebody was knocking from the outside. It was her. And she started going on about how I'd broken through a locked door which was rubbish. And then she said she was charging 2000 credits for the conversation, and went and got Jubilynn to arrest me. And she dragged me off and cuffed me and made me hang from chains while she asked me much the same questions.

The upshot of which is I now owe her 2000 credits and have to work it off, and Molly thinks that Jubilynn was being generous, which I don't think is at all the case.

Frankly I can hardly see the difference sometimes. I didn't do anything wrong and I'm having to work off a ridiculous sum of money. It's guilty till proved innocent here.

And today, he was slagging me off to Molly. I'm not a snoop or whatever he said. I only just managed to keep my temper, which was fortunate as he and Mirika didn't know I was listening. There's some nice crates round that wolf den place.

And Mirika came to see me after. She - she'd started to realise that she couldn't have found out all the stuff she new from the archives. She thinks someone conned him when they sold her to him, but she doesn't think she's her. I guess it's a start. But I'm scared for her.

[hilaryquerrien]

I am fed up. I find the ship open and go in and all I get is dragged off to the sheriff. And then a few days later she and I ended up on a small asteroid because she'd decided I need to go with her and meet the owner and she started staring at a picture and I fell asleep. It was so embarrassing. I can't get rid of this feeling I should go back and apologise again to the owner, she was so kind about it.

And afterwards, Mirika started to lecture me about giving up me freedom willingly when she never had any to give up. She's completely forgotten again who she was. And then she charged me 4000 credits for lecturing me.

There are times when I think she deserves what she's getting and I have to remind myself it wasn't her fault she ended up like this.